Self-care doesn’t always have to be still, sometimes it’s active and meditative!
Weekend Therapy
Tag: ideas
Collage Self-Care
Mini collages based on our Legitimate Rights…
Legitimate Rights, Marsha Linehan in DBT Therapy:
- You have a right to need things from others.
- You have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
- You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain.
- You have a right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate.
- You have the right to your opinions and convictions.
- You have the right to your experience – even if it’s different from that of other people.
- You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.
- You have a right to negotiate for change.
- You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always
get it). - You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish.
- You have a right not to justify yourself to others.
- You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
- You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
- You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.
Tackling the Weight of the World with Groups
Being that I moved schools this year, I have only had this short year with my great new group of kids. Next year they will go off to high school and need the skills and good stuff to be ready to tackle the challenges they will find there. We spend so much time prepping for registration and talking about classes, graduation requirements, and logistical transition needs, that we forget that if the kids don’t have the skills to carry out these more mundane check-boxes, it’s nearly pointless! With all of this in mind, I started to freak out that I wouldn’t be able to get them properly prepared for their next phase, and that old feeling of letting them down started to creep in.
After getting a hold of myself and realizing I was being melodramatic (the hallway hormone osmosis factor), I thought back to a session I attended at the Virginia School Counselor Association this year on small groups. And viola! I decided to go in that direction. I started by establishing a couple of groups based on things I have heard through conferences, parents, and teachers as being barriers to success. And came up with five groups (the four here and one more for my perfectionists!).
Currently I am developing the each lesson. I settled on four sessions each so that I can try to do it twice before our standardized testing starts. In the meantime, I sent a letter to teachers outlining the project, and included an easy strip of paper that they could use to suggest kids. These groups are turning out to be so fun to plan, and I am really excited to get started with them in February.
Next up, I need to develop and permission slip for kids and start to get information out and lock in a schedule. My hope is that these groups can be part of my larger effort to help kids start to learn skills to help them operate without the assistance (corner cutting, entertainment, or otherwise) of technology. Updates to come!!
Screen Time
During Winter Break I got to regroup with family and become re-energized by searching out new books and resources for good information that I can return to school with and hit the ground running. This break I was delighted to find a series called “What Were You Thinking?” on the Audible audio platform. If you haven’t listened to it yet, you HAVE TO. It was just what I needed to be able to take a step back and get my head back in the crazy mind of my middle school kids.
In every language and for many generations parents have been asking their children, “what were you thinking?!”. I know I heard this repeatedly in my own teen years, and now instinctively say it to my 12 and 7 year olds. Spoiler alert: they’re not thinking.
It really got me thinking about just how much technology and sleep deprivation plays in the decision making of students. Every generation has it’s own level of knuckleheadedness, but with the advent of accessible and constant internet (think: smartphones, tablet, gaming consoles, Google Docs, social media, oh my!) has added a whole new layer, and we’re not even close to being in control.
I started thinking about all of the educators who have said “I can’t do this forever” burnt out from constant 504 meetings, student apathy with assignments, and unfiltered student communication. How much more can we handle?! But alas! We are only in the infancy of seeing the ramifications of putting an iphone in the hands of a toddler, and as we learn more about that, we may also learn more about how to curtail these hazy side-effects and rise our kids up to their true potential.
More to come on this, as I was so inspired I had to write it out. I submitted a blog post to my beloved Free Spirit Publishing and can’t wait to hash out the details!
Selling Ourselves
As far as I’m concerned, any day where I get to watch a Family Vacation scene with students is a good day. Today we worked on applications for High School Academies (something in our division where students can attend another school, if accepted into a high caliber program). I get a little competitive of my kids during this time when I am in 8th grade, and so I try to provide as many opportunities for perfected their applications as possible.
Although crazy, filling out these applications is much like filling out a college application (minus the charge, and FAFSA, so better really). Today’s pop up session was regarding short answer questions, such as future goals, extracurricular activities, leadership roles, etc. I am trying to get the kids to realize that for any application, we are simply selling ourselves so that they stand out against other students from across the city. For Middle Schoolers, I find that just about anything where they get to be social can become engaging.
So alas, I decided to relate how to sell yourself in short answers to how to make a great speech. We started with talking about the Elevator Speech (which is essentially what we are doing on paper for short answers), and then we discussed a Banquet Speech. That is, how to wrap things up in a really pretty package to make everything sound magical and amazing.
Before we ended the session with an open lab where they worked on their application (thank you Google Docs for allowing me to say “share it with me and I’ll read it later” when I Have 60 kids ready for attention!), we make our own toasts; we make them specific and detailed and beautiful. It is so fun and one of my favorite lessons!
*** This is easily adaptable for High Schoolers in college application workshops, or for career and networking lessons in all grades!
House Pretty Weekend Therapy
Due to my recent obsession with Fixer Upper (damn you Jo and Chip! Just kidding, love you BBFFFFFFFF4evassssss!!!), I have been revamping a few things at home. Lovely, lovely weekend therapy.
First, I took a look at my fireplace and knew it needed some work. It was bad. Of course, I love the rustic Jo and Chippyness (give me shiplap everywhere!!!) and I thought that might be perfect for the middle of fireplace. I also wanted to update the brick without doing the whitewash that’s popular right now because I love the red look. Here is the before (eek)-
It’s rough. BBBUUUTTTT look at the magic of the concrete stain!
And when it fully dries it really looks nice and natural.
Now, for the added wooden amazingness. I got standard (and cheap) 2x4s and a bunch of stains. It was super fun and really easy. I just layered and sanded. I LOVED the blue tinted and white stain, but I had to go easy because my husband lacks vision (and taste, not that I’m bitter, but I am).
And voila! I added some HomeGoods goods and am super happy with the results! For my bookish friends, I am smitten with myself over my theme- I pulled from my hoarded collection of books and decorated with banned books…in the fireplace..get it?!
OK, for time and space’s sake, I’ll add my refinished side table all together. I did a little work on the glass to make it look like mercury glass (with a vinegar and mirror glass spray paint party). It doesn’t, but I felt like it wasn’t a total Pinterest Fail because I am on a roll and choosing to be loyal. Leave it alone. Then, I used some good ‘ol chalk paint and did some distressing. Basically, I’m in love and we are getting married next week.
(PS- excuse the bad pictures and whatever that little piece of paper is next to the side table in the finished picture. I’m too lazy to take it again, so focus on the Buddha if it annoys our OCD tendencies as much as it does mine.)
